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Saturday, March 15, 2025

Do I Really Want to Heal?!

It seems as if I am hitting one set of limiting beliefs, one after another. From:
• can any of this (Dr Joe's) work work?
• to ...it can work for others, but can it work for me?
• to ... it can work for me, but I am not doing enough.
• to ...now this: do I really want to heal?


WTF


Do I Really Want to Heal?

I was watching yet another of the testimonials on Dr Joe's site. (https://drjoedispenza.com/stories-of-transformation/practice-persistence-and-patience)

And with a sinking heart, as I was listening to Dr Joe towards the tail end of that testimonial, I thought, "Do I Really Want to Heal?" And I thought, "oh no. Not yet another limiting belief to deal with."

Now, as I write this, I realise that while natural, that reaction was probably not the most helpful. Because the surfacing of my limiting beliefs is a good thing. So that I can look them in the face, and deal with them once and for all. It is an opportunity to see the previously hidden stones in my path. This is the Universe working on my behalf: bringing to light a chance to clear a limiting belief and simultaneously, create an empowering belief in its place.

Facing my demon: do I want to heal?

Gosh. This is a hard one.

I have been so focussed on the fear and panic of dying, or the thought of dying, and/or the imagined anguish of a prolonged painful decline.... that it has not occurred to me that I might need to consider the flip side to this coin.

I do think/feel that there is a part of me that is ... well, not sure if it wants (me) to heal.

Q&A

Q: I would like to speak to the part of me that is not sure it wants to heal. Would you be willing to talk to me today, right now?

Ans: yes..


Then I did a Pause.

I went to have a shower in prepartion for my afternoon walk.

And while in the shower, without planning, I started talking to a future-me (FM) .. the future-me with the Calm Energy Center ("Rhythm" as Burt Goldman calls it).

Or more accurately, the FM talked to me....


I think I started by "stepping into" the FM to bring her into the now (or me to her dimension). I asked FM if she could help me with what seemed to be another limiting belief that had cropped up: did I really not want to heal? She would know, right? ... because she is the Future-me

FM: why do you think you think that there is a part of you that doesn't want to heal?

Me: because unlike most of the testifiers who see, as DrJoe urges, a future they want - be it being a mother, or being there for their kids, or running, dancing, career, etc. - I don't really see anything so definitive like that. When I "look" towards the future-me-s, I see either the FM sitting down in the back garden of a gorgeous passive house, sometimes with Reefer. But I don't really see myself doing anything. I just get elevated feelings/rhythm like clarity, or peace. And then the in the latest FM (i.e. you - the FM I am currently talking to), I only see you staying in front of a large window: it is night and you/we are looking down on the lights of people and activities below, and you are tracing the the letter H on the window. Again, you are not doing anything active (like the other testifiers). However you do have a strong inner calm and peace, a certainty, and solidness that I do want to also feel as being part of me.

It is not that I am saying that those wonderful elevated emotions and feelings and sense of being is not enough. It IS so much more than enough. But when DrJoe talks about seeing clearly the things and places, the activities and what a FM will be doing - well, my FMs are more feelings than doing. So I feel maybe I don't really want to heal enough because I can't seem to create any particular activity or doings that my FM should be doing.

There are fleeting ones: like me and Reefer, and sometimes Pete, running along the beach, the wind and some sand in our faces, laughing.

FM: I think you know you have mostly answered your own question. The only problem here is that you are COMPARING. Comparing yourself, your FMs to what you think SHOULD be/look like, based on what others are saying theirs is like or even what DrJoe seems to say.

All this happened yesterday. And the FM said quite a few more eye-opening and wise things. But I can't seem to call them to mind at the moment.


Then I went for a walk on the beach, listeing to my new audio addition to Dr Joe's "Breaking the Habit of Being yourself"... and the surprises that I met me on that walk.






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