I was watching the docco, "Heal" on PrimeTV.
There is a section where Gregg Braden says, ".. what has happened before we got here, ... it is different for all of us ..." i.e. what happened before each soul came into the world .. we don't know. It is different for all of us.
His words evoked a familiar "scene" that has run through my life for decades, periodically appearing in my consciousness but one that I don't fully understand the meaning of.
In that familiar "scene", I am before a table where three men are seated. They feel like ancient old men; not ancient beings exactly but just old and semi-ancient men. And it feels like they don't approve of my decision (to be reborn and re-enter this life). So there is tension.
But while this scene has run through my life, I cannot decipher why they are so disapproving (because it does not feel as if they are disapproving of my decision to protect me). And I cannot sense my own purpose in being so insistence on returning. Again.
So there is tension, disapproval, and my insistence on returning even when there seems to be no grand mission I can sense.
Worse ... I almost hear them warning me of the dangers and difficulties, the unpleasantness ahead in my life. All without the reassurance of some grand over-riding mission that might make sense of my insistence.
That is the scene that comes to mind, again and again, in my life. And I still don't know it's meaning, if there is any.
But last night (23/2/25), in the midst of a group of dreams and messages, there seems to be an inkling or hint of what that disconcerting scene might mean for me.
Because of that recurring scene, I might have inadvertently developed this deep and hidden belief that "something difficult, dangerous, unpleasant" is meant to happen in my life. And no matter how many struggles I have been through (multiple attempts at suicide; cancer; etc.), I realised vaguely (in the messages of my dreams last night) that I am still expecting that my life is heading for "something difficult, dangerous, unpleasant". Almost as if because I believe such a thing, I will continually create that kind of situation - and no amount or degree of struggle I go through will appease that belief into saying I have gone through enough and that there is only pleasantness ahead.
Now that is a very sobering thought. And a very very dangerous belief to have burrowed so deeply into my psyche.
I still have no idea what that tension filled, recurring "scene" means and why I seemed so insistent on returning to this physical life, but that dark belief I seemed to have assigned to the scene is definitely not empowering and needs to be resolved.
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RESOLUTION METHOD 1: "What Else Could This Mean?"
Just yesterday, I saw a short by Tony Robbins. He was saying how our beliefs colour everything. And when it is not a belief that is useful, he always asks himself a question: "What else could this mean?"
He asks himself 3 times to get at least 3 different answers.
So I shall try that method here.
Q1.) What else could that recurring "scene" mean?
Ans1. Nothing. It means nothing at all. I just inadvertently made up a non-useful story and placed a significance on it but it actually meant nothing at all. But because of the mistaken significance I placed on it, I have been carrying it around, unusefully, all these years.
Q2.) What else could it mean?
Ans2. It means I decided to return for a specific purpose; for a Purpose ... even if I don't yet know what that Purpose is. And I may even never know in this lifetime. And that is ok because I don't need to know.
Q3.) What else could it mean?
Ans3. It might mean in this life, I may get some opposition from time to time, from "old men" ... where "old men" represent conventional approaches that refuse to progress. And I will insist anyway and do it my way.
In the scene, it didn't feel like the "old men" were wise or even caring personas. Only that they were old (cf. ancient, which for me, would have denoted wisdom where else "old" here just meant outdated).
s/n. This is the first time I am conscious of the significance of these "old" vs. "ancient" men in that scene, and why that difference was significant to me!
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RESOLUTION METHOD 2: NLP - Changing Belief Cycle
Old Belief:
That there is something awful and dreadful that is going to happen in my life. And it is still coming.
New (Desired) Belief:
I have already weathered the storm(s). And as promised, my life now is always getting better and better and better. In every way.
After Belief Change Cycle:
NEW BELIEF:
I am alert, mindful, and grateful. This part of my life just gets better and better. ☺️
