I have used turing my body into feeling ill to avoid. Avoid events (Reeds and the theatre), gatherings (Russ’s bday, Carr’s visit). Is this my big avoidance? Of Life or my life as I see it where I am unable to escape from the ever present threat of intrusions by others into my life and my inability to avoid all of them? If this is, then what can I do about it.
If this is what your body is attempting to do for you, do you still want to have this to be able to Avoid?
No. I am willing to face each event and circumstance out.
What about the deep discomfort you face with those social events or even obligations?
I might have made them more than what they were. They were never really as bad as I made them to be. I was more angry that I did not seem to have a choice. And angry to have to feel like a social misfit or be forced to come out as anti-social.
So how will you deal with them face on in future?
One, they are not as bad as I imagined.
Two, they might even be fun. At times, they were.
Three, I don’t need to hold anger over those things. I don’t need to be angry.
Compassion. To feel compassion is to not feel anger or helplessness.
COMPASSION. That I can feel.
So you no longer want your body to produce illness so that you can avoid people and social interactions?
No. I want to be healthy and healthy in facing and living with others and living with interactions with others. No I no longer need the defence of avoidance.
Are you sure?
Yes I am sure. Can it really be that simple? is that why I created this?
Does it have to be complicated?
no. no it doesn’t. no it doesn’t.